Do You Feel Unconfident About Dating Again?
Perhaps you’re feeling unconfident about dating again because your previous relationships haven’t gone well, and you’re wary of getting into another wrong relationship. Perhaps you haven’t dated for a while, or have very little experience with dating. Or maybe you struggle with a lack of self-confidence in general, so the thought of dating again feels pretty scary.
If any of these scenarios describe you, chances are that you’re feeling torn between the loneliness and isolation of not dating, and negative feelings that come up when you consider dating again. This is a very painful place to be, but you may have found that you’re unable to get “unstuck” on your own. To make matters worse, well-meaning friends and family members may be pressuring you to start dating again, and you may feel like time is running out to find a life partner, and possibly to start a family as well.
I can help you build your self-confidence so that you’ll feel ready to date again. I can also support you in being more selective about whom you date, not rushing into anything this time, and sorting out concerns you have about your new relationship.
Building Your Confidence So You’ll Feel Ready to Date Again
I can help you feel confident about dating again in several ways. For example, we can discuss why you’re feeling unconfident about dating, and address each of those concerns. I can help you prepare for potential situations you feel nervous about in regards to dating by talking through possible ways to handle those situations, role-playing, teaching you ways to reduce your nervousness, etc. If you like, I can also support you in taking small steps towards dating again.
We can explore how your past intimate relationships and your past in general have impacted your self-confidence. This will help us recognize negative messages from others that have shaped your beliefs about yourself. That way, you can make more conscious choices about whether or not those messages seem rational, and what you’d like to believe about yourself instead. We’ll look for exceptions to your negative beliefs about yourself, and things you can do to start feeling better about yourself.
We can also use assessment tools to give you a snapshot of your current level of self-confidence. This snapshot will help us determine what aspects of your self-confidence we need to focus on most.
Learning to Be More Selective About Whom You Date
We’ll take a close look at how you chose your past relationships, what warning signs you may have overlooked before or after you entered those relationships, and why you overlooked those warning signs. We’ll identify lessons you can take away from those relationships so that you no longer have to worry that you’ll get into similar relationships.
We’ll discuss what it was like for you to be in those relationships in order to strengthen your determination to avoid relationships such as those going forward. We’ll also process any negative feelings you have regarding those relationships. Otherwise, those negative feelings may make it impossible for you to believe that a new relationship could be any better, or might ruin a new relationship once you start dating again.
I’ll support you in not rushing into anything so that you can avoid getting into another wrong relationship. We’ll talk about appropriate pacing in dating, ways to do this, how to discuss this with the person you’re dating, and reasons why many people don’t “look before they leap” when it comes to dating.
I’ll help you envision the qualities you’re looking for in a partner, and overcome negative self-talk that may prevent you from believing that you could date someone like this.
Addressing Concerns You Have Regarding Your New Relationship
Once you start dating, or if you recently started dating, I can help you enjoy the process of dating instead of sabotaging it in various ways such as trying too hard to do and say the right things in order to make a good impression, trying to more forward too quickly in the relationship, and so on. We can explore what aspects of your past might be contributing to these tendencies, and identify new behaviors you’d like to adopt instead.
We can also discuss any concerns you have about your new relationship, and how to handle those concerns so that your relationship will have a better chance at long-term success. For example, you may be uncertain whether you have found your life partner, especially if your past relationships didn’t go well. Or you may be having some difficulty adjusting to one another’s personality and lifestyle. The early stages of a relationship can be both exciting and stressful. I can help you sort out concerns you have regarding your new relationship so that you’ll feel more confident about how to proceed.