Dating and Relationship Help
Couples therapy can help you shed unreasonable expectations you have of your partner and yourself, and show you how to take the lead in improving your relationship. Couples therapy can also be a transformative and rewarding process, not to mention a huge relief for many couples.
Couples Counseling Can Help You Look At Each Other in a New Light
Romance tends to be very alluring, so people often don’t realize what they’re signing up for when they start a relationship. It can come as quite a shock to gradually recognize character flaws in your partner, and notice how your relationship sometimes brings out the worst in you.
Couples therapy can teach you and your partner to support each other’s process of personal growth rather than getting frustrated with each other for not being farther along in that process. This unconditional love is probably the greatest gift you can give each other, but it doesn’t come naturally to most couples.
The reality is that you and your partner are growing, evolving human beings. In other words, you most likely have more shortcomings than your partner would like, and your partner most likely has more shortcomings than you would like. Embracing this reality more fully can make a world of difference in your relationship.
This is not to suggest that you and your partner adopt a complacent attitude towards your character flaws that goes something like, “I’ve always been this way, folks, so don’t expect me to change.” On the contrary, couples counseling can help people overcome self-defeating thoughts such as this, and also get them more interested in continuous self-improvement so they can have the kind of relationship and life they’re hoping for.
Relationship Help and Couples Counseling
Couples Counseling Can Help You Become Each Other’s Most Important Teacher in Life
A competent couples therapist can guide you in communicating more effectively with your partner about his or her foibles, and vice versa. You could be each other’s most important teacher in life since you may know each other best and you may both be willing to adjust your behavior for the sake of the relationship. However, if you give your partner feedback in a way that’s disrespectful, angry, blaming, and so on, this will simply cause him or her to become defensive and resist apologizing or making any positive shifts on your behalf. And if you keep your feedback to yourself, that won’t help your partner either.
Couples counseling can help you and your partner more fully accept each other’s areas for growth. Believe it or not, this will increase the chances that you’ll both make positive changes in your behavior since people are more likely to improve when they receive direct but supportive feedback than if they receive unkind feedback or don’t receive any feedback at all.
Accepting rather than rejecting each other’s “humanness” and providing respectful feedback will help both of you to make positive changes, and lo and behold, your relationship will improve.
Stay tuned for part 2.
By Cynthia Mansur, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
THE CONTENT PROVIDED IN THIS BLOG IS NOT MEDICAL or THERAPEUTIC ADVICE: This blog is not provided for purposes of consulting, evaluation, treatment, instruction, diagnosis, prognosis or professional services of any kind. The content of this blog does not incorporate discussion of all known therapeutic techniques, and is not intended to apply to any specific individual, specific condition or specific clinical situation. The content of this blog is not a substitute for the advice of a qualified, state-licensed and practicing professional who is providing you with professional services based on a written agreement between you and that professional. All content in this blog is intended as general information only and is not intended to provide specific advice, including but not limited to medical advice, nor is the content of this blog to be relied upon as such.